How refusing to be a "pinching bag" altered my relationship to my ghosting Adult Child

spelling mistakes and text messages during estrangement/no contact/alienation

One of the last text messages I sent to my Adult child had a spelling mistake in it. I was referring to the increasingly abusive language in the text messages I was receiving from them.

I was shaking with anger and fear. Eating their birthday cake (a week after their birthday, it was frozen and waiting until I could deliver it to them) with my husband and other adult child. I responded quickly to their message, didn’t read what I said and hit send.

This “shows” my state of mind. I wasn’t thinking, I was reacting and I didn’t even take a moment to read what I was sending. I am hoping one day, we will laugh about it. In fact, I think if my adult child ever calls me again, I might lead with a joke - “Hello, are you looking for a pinching bag? She’s not here!”

I often said, to my ex-husband and my baby Daddy, I’m not your emotional punching bag. It took “taking it out on someone” to a whole new level, navigating co-parenting - which essentially meant I was not able to stop contact with someone who was in the bad habit of being emotionally abusive to me.

It got me thinking about mosaic.